My Last Blog: my convictions of how to live faithfully in this world

Dear Friends and Family,

These past 2 months have been a blur…finishing up school and picking my major, going to Rwanda and seeing the victory of Christ in the midst of a genocide, hiking the 15,000 ft Mt. Elgon, a mountain that became a real battle of choosing joy and faith instead of despair and fear…all of this and so much more.  (Oh and to let you know – that battle ended in victory.)  And now I am home, and my adventure in Uganda has officially come to an end.  However, the lessons that I have learned and convictions I have received are still with me and will hopefully continue living on – making Uganda not the end, but the beginning of an incredible journey of living out my faith in response to God’s incredible love for me.  To everyone who asks me how it was, all I can say is, it was truly the time of my life - a time in which I found my identity rooted in Christ, and found that this was truly a good, abundant life!  

At the end of my semester at UCU, I wrote a capstone paper, summarizing all that I had learned and writing down in words pretty much the vision for how I want to live my life.  I wanted to share with you the introduction of it - and if any of you want to read more, just email me and I can send you the whole thing:)

How do you live faithfully in a fallen and broken world?  In essence, that’s what I came to Uganda to figure out.  For the past few years, God had been revealing to me His heart for the poor and broken, and I believed that in order to faithfully respond, I had to drop everything and follow Christ into the jungles of somewhere far away in order to “do missions.” In coming to Uganda; however, I found that contrary to this, God was not calling me to a vocation, but to a way of life.  Rather than going to another country to share the gospel and solve poverty, God was calling me to take the gifts and passions that He placed within my hands, and faithfully use them to bring beauty and life into the world that it might have hope.   He was calling me to live out my faith not individually, but in community with the church.  And above all, he was calling me to generously love those that God had placed in my life.  And hence I was given the vision for how I was to live faithfully in a broken world: that through faith, hope and love, I would be a living witness of the abundant and transformational life God has for us.

So there it is!  What does that mean now, though?

Well, first of all, it means that I want relationships, and not efficiency, to be what motivates how I live.  I can rest knowing that I'm God's beloved - and I don't have to DO anything!  Rather than living by clock-time, I want to take time to be still, as well as to be present in the moment with the people God has given me.  This is a pretty freeing reality, but I know I have to work at it daily to not fall back into my old habits.  Secondly, I want to make my faith something I live out not just individually, but in community.  Hopefully I'll start praying with some of my siblings, or start up a bible study with one of my friends.  I also want to become involved with my church as well - for I am called not to be a witness of Christ's love alone, but with others.  If others will know we are christians by our unity, this is a pretty important thing for me to do!!   

Thirdly, I want to live generously and simply in community. I have seen the inequalities between the rich and the poor, and it calls me to action.  This can easily result in my giving away all my clothes to a shelter and deciding to support some kid overseas, but what I found is that this isn't want Christ is calling me to.  Shane Claiborne says, "Jesus is not seeking distant acts of charity.  He seeks concrete acts of love."  Giving clothes may help a person, but it doesn't result in transformation or in the offering of a radical new community.  Rather, it allows me as a wealthy american to remain separated from the poor, to manage inequalities, but not dismantle them. (Shane Claiborne)  Instead of this, why can't I actually get to know the poor - as friends?  When this happens, suddenly being generous with my money or living simply won't be a guilty act or desire to be pious; rather, it will be what happens when I fell in love with someone across class lines!  And so, my goal is now to get to know the poor - and the rest will follow.   My teacher wisely said, "When you love God (gratitude) and seek relationships with others (across class lines), your eyes will be opened to new ways of living out your convictions." 

 And so thats where I am now, wanting to keep Christ at the center of my life, with the vision of being a witness of the abundant life God has for us. It's exciting to have my faith become something that isn't just about my own inner peace and satisfaction, but rather something that effects my whole way of life.  It is my vision for how I want to live, one in which I respond to the norms of this day by offering a joyful alternative to it - and hopefully invite others to do the same.

Well, thanks for reading my blog and journeying with me on my Ugandan adventures.  It was a pleasure being able to share with you not only some of my treasured stories of family and dancing, but also some of my struggles and convictions about life and how to live faithfully in it.  I love you all and can't wait to see some of you soon!   

Bungee Jumping over the Nile!!

What am I doing?!!!

Good-bye world

 Launch-off

To infinity and beyond!

This is insane

Oh shoot...I can't fly

Within an inch of death

And the bounce back up - pose for the camera! 

This is fun

Hanging...

Wow I look like I just died:)

Not!  Time to do some stretching

Dropped to safety...what did I just do?!

I went bungee jumping:)

Pictures of Kapturwa and the Barbecue!

KAPTURWA

A walk through the neighborhood...

 The friends I made...

 The roads I walked...

my sister and I at the river (our destination)...

and the boys I met there:)

 This is an Introduction ceremony, where a man and women become engaged in front of all of their friends and family.  Here, women are dancing with different gifts (here-soda) on their heads to give to the couple.

 More gifts!

 This...is a wedding!  

My house in Kapturwa!

 My front yard at sunset

 A rooster guarding his chicken coop:)

 My backyard

Hiking with my dad and sister

Top of the mountain!

My feet after hiking...in those shoes!

 Drinking up the waterfall

 Cave time!

 Goats in a cave...

 That we then scared away from us:)

Time to leave - and so time to dress up in my mom's traditional dress:)

BARBECUE!

My, cousin, Prudence and I waiting for food

 Dancing contest!

Ending the bbq with a bang: congo line!

Barbecue Weekend!

This past weekend was pretty exciting.  This is how it went:

Saturday…began with the washing of my clothes, which resulted in blisters on my knuckles – I guess I’m still not used to itJ Then I was invited to help immunize the 100 chickens at my house…which resulted in my running around after chickens and finally figuring out a strategy of creeping up on the small fearful ones in the corners or on the one’s busily eating food.  After approaching chicken after chicken like this…the fear of picking up animals was slowing going away…though I still wasn’t able to grab three at a time as my sister was doing – to whom I give big prompts to!

After that, it was then time to go into Kampala (the big city) to buy food for our big February birthday BBQ that was going to happen the next day.  The ride there was definitely full of surprises.  After thinking that I was hearing chicken noises from outside the taxi, suddenly from out of no where the head of a chicken dropped down from the top of the van.  I soon found out that not only were there chickens on top of the roof, but there were also chickens under my seat!  And then a bed came out of no where from the top of the car as well…so pretty much I think our taxi came from Mary Poppin’s bag.  The rest of the day was really fun, got to go to an actual grocery store that I pushed around a grocery cart in and bought meat that was pre-made and packaged!  I felt like I was back home, going grocery shopping with my mom for the weeks supply of foodJ  Oh, and I also ate pizza – so good!

The next day the barbeque had finally come upon us.  After going to church, so began the hours of fun preparation with my family.   Throughout the house were people squeezing fresh fruit into juice, cooking meat on a charcoal stove, making salad, rolling out chapateis, and making egg roles (hard boiled eggs surrounded by a layer of irish potatos, then fried).  And my job as the American of the house, was to make hot dogs.  This was pretty exciting – after showing them that we could fry them on the charcoal stove and add ketchup and mustard into it to make it tastier (thanks mom!!), though that didn’t work out in the end, I was then able to produce the full effect of a hotdog in a bun with ketchup, mustard, and relish (lettuce and onions).  As I did this with Prudence, my American cousin, and Angel, my Ugandan cousin, I felt like I had transported back home just for a moment.  The music was playing, people were dancing, and I was making hot dogs, what could be better?  The day was great – people started arriving around 4, and hence began hours of talking, dancing, and above all else, eating!!  We had fancy sticks with grilled pork and beef, chicken and sausages, hot dogs, salad with “salad cream,” watermelon (which I insisted we had like we do at home), and then soda, juice, and to top it off, cake!!!! And this cake was chocolate with insanely good homemade icing and covered with sprinkles…my mamma can sure bake a cake – even without chocolate chips!  (The secret ingredient is a chocolate drinking mix.) By the end…I was stuffed.  And so began the dancing to work it all off!  The birthdays of each month had a dance off with the other months, during which there was elimination of the struggling dancers with a tap on the head…it was pretty funJ  So if you’re reading this – thank you, my family, for the best barbeque ever!  It was so special and such a joyful, fun-filled time.  The night ended with farewells to all of my extended family, a little more chocolate cake, and then a bit of just sitting out under the brilliant stars with my sister.  It was a good day.

Finding Rest!!

“Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Entering into the beauty of Kapturwa, I thought I was also entering into a place of rest and renewal.  Instead, as I so easily end up doing, I ended up being super busy and striving and worrying about the future.  It was full of lots of fun and cultural activities – I went to a Ugandan wedding and introduction ceremony and hiked mountains and saw caves and learned how to cook with my mom, but I was not at rest in my soul.  As I was trudging up the dusty hills of Uganda in the scorching sun, I felt overwhelmingly, tired.  As I also started feeling pretty sick, God brought to mind a verse in the form of a song I knew – “Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon me and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my load is easy and my burden is light.”  This verse brought me comfort and helped me in those few hours of tiredness, and it continued to bring me through a time where I desperately needed to stop striving, and just rest! 

  During the rest of the afternoon, as I lay in my bed sweating out a fever, I also sweat out my need to strive and serve and figure out the rest of my life.  In that moment of brokenness and forced rest, I finally was able to hear God’s perfect plan for me – to rest knowing that I was His beloved.  God had desired Kapturwa to be a time of rest for me, but I had instead tried to serve and constantly do…and that’s not what God wanted of me!  Moreover, I had become really frustrated and confused with my desire to do missions – because suddenly, I realized that missions was really hard and it would be way easier to just live the normal life of an American! It was really humbling to find that I wasn’t actually naturally compassionate and did not want to suffer with others – it was way too hard!  My dream of doing missions and bringing light into the darkness and hope to those in despair suddenly came crashing down as I was faced with the hard and realistic realization of what missions really is.  While I hadn’t really entered into anything super hard, I had found that waking up early to do dishes outside and having to cook for three hours to make a meal and constantly feeling hot and missing family…was hard!  It was in humbly realizing that wow – I really wasn’t righteous on my own and didn’t desire God on my own either, that I finally realized, the truth of the gospel.  Everything truly and finally is grace, and anything that I do is completely by His power!  Moreover, as I later began reading Compassion, I found that if I was to do missions, God would give me the conviction and absolute joy in doing it.  And in the meantime, I can rest in God’s loving arms and in doing so love others in whatever community I am in.  

I still don’t know where God is calling me or my “vision” for the future, but that’s ok.  As He spoke to me over and over again since that time of sickness that He was calling me just to rest in Him, I found comfort knowing that He was holding me by my right hand and was hemming me in behind and before.  I may not know where I’m going, but He sure does! 

10 Days in Kapturwa, Uganda

In approaching the topic of my time spent in Kapturwa, Uganda, I am a bit overwhelmed with how to even begin.  I wish I could just take you there and show you the majesty of the mountains and the beauty of its close-knit community of farmers, but I can't...and so I guess I will have to try to explain it to you in words.  

  I took a six hour bus ride from Mukono, Uganda, a pretty busy, urban setting, to Kapturwa, Uganda, a beautiful rural setting of mountains and rivers filled with more animals than farmers.  Driving up to my house for the next week, I was met not with the dire poverty of shacks filled with little kids running around, but instead with a white cottage surrounded by the most beautiful scenery I have ever seen in my life.  The house was right on the front edge of a mountain, overlooking the entire valley of Kapturwa.  Behind the house was a chicken coop, outside cooking hut, and everything that goes along with a farm – roaming chickens, cows and goats.  Farther along you could see their own land full of coffee, matoke, exotic fruit, and potatoes that they grew themselves.  What made this even better was that just the day before, I had come to the insane realization that after 20 years of not liking coffee, I may have possibly just enjoyed a cup of coffee.  I think I still like tea more…but I have to admit, its not bad, especially when its fresh African coffee!  In seeing the breathtaking, beautiful home that I was about to live in, an utter retreat of refreshment and rejuvenation  I almost cried with joy.  I could not believe how much God loved me that He would see my tiredness and need of a peaceful get-away - and then give all of that to me and more! 

The family I stayed with was just as refreshing – they welcomed me into their family with such love and joy, giving me more food than I have ever eaten in my life and making me feel truly like one of them.   I lived with my wise and beautiful Mamma Judith and my caring and respected father, David, as well as my cousin Sarah, who was pretty much like family.  Then there were Isaac and Joshua, the two helpers at the house who I saw herding goats, cutting wood, feeding the cows, and doing things that I guess farmers do!  Then there was Collins, a lively 19 year old guy who brought my friends who lived near by me, and I – hiking!  We went to the famous crack in a rock where we crossed over and saw a breathtaking view, hiked down through bushes and thorns to stand behind a waterfall, and the next day went to a cave in which we sang worship songs and ate chapateis while sitting in the dark.  It was a lot of walking and a lot of sun…but very fun and brought a lot of great pictures!  Oh, and did I mention that I did all of that in my mokosins?  They had told me it was just a little walk...which I guess it was for them:)

When not hiking, my sister and I were walking through their village, meeting all of her many neighbors and greeting them in Kupsabe, the language that they speak there.  I found that knowing how to say, Takwenyo (how are you) and Yeko (good) opened up a whole new world to me!  When hearing me speak their language, immediately either huge grins, or laughter of the surprise of a white person speaking their language followed.  Unlike in Mukono, many of the people I had met had never interacted with a white person.  The kids would touch my skin to see what it felt like, the old ladies would shake my hand for five minutes, and my mom would stare in amazement at the black marks on my face that dirt would create.  I had become the ambassador of America, answering questions from my family from everything of what crops grew in America, how dish washers worked, to how we survived economically when it was so cold that it snowed!  Their life was one in which everyone did everything with their own hands – whether it was fetching water from a well, digging potatoes and planting and grinding coffee to make a living, or washing their clothes and dishes outside in buckets of water.  It was like I had gone back in time and found a valley hidden away, filled with the beauty and simplicity of a community of farmers just living together.  Walking through the streets, I found that my cousin/sister knew absolutely everyone, all whom we stopped to greet and find out how they were doing.  While our destination was bringing tea to her 103 year old grandparents, we ended up stopping at quite a few houses along the way to of course sit down and be given something to eat or drink.  All of them were so happy to see me, many of which asked if I could come back to visit with them longer.  I can truly say that those walks along the road, hand in hand with Sarah who become like an African soul-mate to me even if it was for a week, were the best part of the week.  Yah, taking showers under the sky, learning how to milk a cow for the first time (harder than you think!), and cracking gnuts with my mom while listening to my cousins whistle and sing as they worked were pretty awe-inspiring, but I’d have to say those road trips were pretty special.  And did I say I ground my own coffee beans with a big stick that I pounded into a tall wooden container?

Well, it is time for me to go home to my family now, so I guess I'll have to finish my story sometime soon.  I am truly missing you all.  While it is still great here, I am excited to be home and with you all.  Love you guys!!

Pictures!!

Here are some pics!  

This is my room.

 This is the moon outside my house amidst mango trees.

 This is the front gate into my house.

 The outdoor ledge that I always talk about...which we sit and cook on:)

 Outside the house - chicken coop, water tower, mango trees!

 Dinner!

My birthday cake

 Birthday with my aunt and sister

The front of my house